Choose Your People, Choose Your Life

Create your Circle of Influence 

The people closest to you influence your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, habits, and ultimately your future. Whether you realize it or not, you are constantly being shaped by the voices around you.

If you want to attract the life you choose, you must become intentional about who receives influence over your heart, mind, and decisions.

Your Circle of Influence is a simple but powerful tool that helps you identify who belongs closest to you, whose advice deserves consideration, and whose opinions should simply pass by like the wind.

Have you ever had someone say something to you that wasn’t kind and you let it ruin your day, your week or even got you down for months? Maybe it wasn’t one thing it was multiple lies or tactics of manipulation. For me, maybe it’s just because I take so much of my identity on being a good parent. If someone says I’m a bad mom it’s like a dagger that melts my heart like Frosty, the snowman that melts to the ground and leaves behind a pile of messy clothes. 

What kinds of comments melt you into a puddle?

• Remarks about your appearance 

• Remarks about your integrity 

• Jabs at your parenting

• Negative comments about your economic status

• A putdown that confirms your worst fears about yourself.

Mary’s Magnetic Tip:

Avoid being a sponge, absorbing every input, especially the negative thoughts that you're secretly hiding. Choose to practice the second thought–why am I listening to this person’s opinion?

Circle of Influence 

         The life you attract is influenced by the people you allow closest to you. The right people amplify your dreams, challenge your excuses, and remind you who you are when you forget.

The goal is clarity. Think about the people around you. Who do you call when you need a pep talk?  Who do you call to celebrate good news? For advice about personal matters, professional problems, tough decisions? Make a list. These people will become your “Circle of Influence.” Choose your circle carefully. 

When you gain clarity about who truly matters, you stop giving away your power to people who have not earned a seat at your table.

"If you’re wondering if someone belongs in the Core, ask: 'Do I feel like I have to perform for them?' Can I be honest with them, or do I hide my true feelings? Am I comfortable around them? Can I be my authentic self? Or do I find myself behaving CAREFULLY, like they’re working on my quarterly performance review instead of being my friend and/or trusted advisor? 

Do you worry about what they think of you? (“Am I measuring up?” “How about now?” “Is this better?”) When you have anxiety about how your friends feel about you, ARE THEY REALLY FRIENDS? Note that this negativity could be happening in YOUR head… not theirs. 

They might need to be kept outside your circle.  They can be acquaintances… but maybe no more than that.  The Inner Circle in particular is for those who let you breathe and just be."